How do you grieve as a pantheist without an afterlife to lean on?

My mother died in March. I have been a pantheist for years and thought I had made peace with death in the abstract. Turns out the abstract is easy. Everyone around me says she is watching over me, and I cannot say that, and I do not want to. But I also do not want to just say "her atoms are in the soil" at the funeral. What do you actually say, and actually do?